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How To Grow A Stronger Mind

How To Grow A Stronger Mind

All things are Possible!

The only things we have absolute control in life are our feelings, behaviors and our own thoughts, (and honestly at times I don’t even think I have control of those!). Everything else is beyond our control. Even mentally strong people know that. As a mentally strong individual, you must find your center by learning about, and improving your patterns. The way you think, feel and act are all considered automatic and by doing these in a systematic manner, success can follow. This is the very reason why you, as a woman must grow a stronger mind.

You’re a go-getter, right? Do what you can to get ahead.

Let’s look at science and find ways on how you can become mentally stronger. By learning how to be aware and improve things that you can control - thoughts, feelings, behavior patterns, you can grow much happier and mentally healthier.

1. Have a purpose

Figure out the reason why you are thinking, feeling and acting a specific way. A journal can assist you in identifying aspects of yourself and assist you in your self- understanding. You may flinch from time to time because there are certain aspects of yourself that you don't like but if you do not acknowledge these then you won't have the full ability of controlling your thoughts, feelings and behaviors in the long run. Self-understanding is the key. 

2. Understand Your Emotions

Are you an intentional and rational thinker? Is there an overly emotional side in you? If yes, then it is very important to explore this. Your emotions shape your behavior, thoughts and actions in ways that you don’t even realize... By learning the pattern that is considered unhealthy, you can manage and control your emotions better. Understanding emotions is the first step to take to grow a stronger mind. I just recently realized that I have to work on this when it comes to parenting… Oh my! 

 

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3. Love Yourself

Mentally strong people love themselves. If you want to become one, listen to your emotions and validate and love yourself so that you can be capable of empathizing, and loving yourself. Take the time to care for your well being. Know that if you put yourself first, you can control your thoughts, feelings, actions and behavioral patterns which result to the success that you have been meaning to obtain.

4. Be True To Yourself

There's no other person you should be, aside from you yourself. Let people in on your life, let them know who you are, because in the end you can help them by simply being who you are. Be aware of your needs and goals and the challenges that come with them. Keep your relationships with people on a high pedestal because it’s these relationships that will support you in the end. These are the people who are aware of your personal challenges, and they can help you get through those crazy times! These are the people you will grow close with through the years, and treasure. You can find out who these significant people are in your life are by just staying true to yourself. 

5. Only You Can Live Your Own Life

As a confident individual, know that what is best for you is... what your inner calling desires. I know that may sound like a bunch of “magical thinking” but in all honesty, when working with thousands of entrepreneurs it always comes back to the individual's needs… and fulfilling them. Listen to others for advice and consider their perspectives, but in the end, you have to make your own choices. Taking a time out to listen to your inner voice is key in growing in your business and life!

6. Commit

Commit to your mission and vision, your purpose! For instance, if you want to grow a stronger mind, research on strategies and make plans to improve your behavioral patterns. Devote yourself to weekly activities such as meditating, writing on a journal and attending seminars on the matter. I give you total permission to be the best you. Commit!

 

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Diet.  Sleep.  Supplements.

Diet. Sleep. Supplements.

Are you awake at 2am or 3am and can't sleep then this post is for you. 

For some of us, sleep is a fickle mistress. We need it, we want it, but for some reason, we just can’t seem to fall asleep at night. We find ourselves staring at our partners at 3 am, their head deeply nestled in the pillow and soft snores escaping from their mouth... Sometimes I  fight an uncontrollable urge to wake my husband up so he can share in my pain!

how to increase revenue as a health coach

But sleep isn’t meant to be just outside our reach.

The reason why you think that it should be perfectly natural is because that’s exactly how it should be. These days we’re all leading less active, more sedentary lifestyles and when combined with our brain-altering screen time and overly processed diet, you have a recipe for an unhealthy life and a terrible night’s sleep.

Surely at this stage of our journey, I don’t have to keep reminding you of the basics. You know that coffee is going to keep you up at night and that you shouldn’t drink it after lunch. You’re a melatonin master and are well on your way to reducing screen times and naturally helping to boost your body’s products of that sleepy hormone. There’s no point in me continuing to ram these facts down your throat - basically, if you don’t know them by now you haven’t been paying attention.

You probably also have a good idea about the benefits of exercise in relation to sleep. Whether your morning workout is set in stone to help you start the day with a bang and fall asleep at night, or if you occasionally work out after work and experience the joy of immediately curling up in your warm bed, either way, you’re already trying to make sure you’re moving during the day so you can sleep like a stone at night.

 

Those are sleep solutions for beginners and I’m not going to fluff out a word count reiterating the same old sayings. But what if you’re already following all those tips, but still the sandman skips your house at night and you’re burning holes in your sheets from tossing and turning all the time?

Well then, it’s time we take a closer look at your diet.

DIGESTION AND YOUR SLEEP

Ranging from mild discomfort to full on digestive distress, our body’s ability to properly digest the foods we’re eating can play a big part in our brain’s ability to switch off and let us get a good night’s sleep.

There’s a reason we’re often told not to eat right before going to bed - our body needs our rest periods to set to work repairing itself. It might seem like we’re entirely switched off when we’re asleep, but it is more like the night shift takes control. If you’re cramming up their workload with digestive functions then you’re setting yourself back for the next day, which makes you feel sluggish and tired when your wake up the next day.

So, let’s start by reiterating that you should not be eating a big meal within the hour before your bedtime. Stretch it out longer if you can and give your body some time to really digest your dinner before you head to bed.

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Once you have that rule established it’s time to look at what the foods you’re actually eating and how they can be affecting your sleep patterns.

Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night craving ice cream? While it might seem like a wonderful idea to have a big bowl of ice cream for dessert before heading to bed, the dairy might actually be doing more harm than good when it comes to your sleep habits.

We’ve been told for decades that cow’s milk contains tryptophan, which is a sleep-promoting hormone that will help send us off to sleep. This is still true, however, we’re now seeing that dairy products contain casomorphins which have an opioid effect on the body. What does this mean? Much like morphine, they can be highly addictive. It’s what makes you crave it more and more after you consume it, and yes makes you wake up in the middle of the night thanks to those cravings.

If you’re looking for that sweet tryptophan snooze but want to avoid the addictive nature of dairy there are other foods you can try eating before bed such as honey, nuts, seeds and eggs - just be sure not to overdo it.

A varied and balanced diet is always a good thing, but it’s crucial that we keep an eye on the best times to be eating certain foods. Spicy foods that may cause heartburn and indigestion should be consumed at least 4 hours before bed to give your body the best chance to digest it properly. Proteins like red meat are great to eat during the day because they’re harder to digest and as a result give us longer burning energy, while at night time the same slab of meat can keep us up.

While there are some obvious rules that we can all benefit from, it’s important to listen to your body and see how it reacts. The foods that keep us up at night might be different from person to person, so try eliminating them from your diet (one at a time to test your body’s reaction for the best results) and see how you fare.

SLEEP MISTAKES

If you’ve made it this far into the article and are slamming your head against a wall because you are already doing all of these things and still you’re plagued by restless nights, then don’t worry because this is where we get into the little things that can make a huge difference to your sleep habits.

Now it’s time we talked about sleep mistakes. You know? Those teeny, tiny insignificant little habits that you always think are definitely not having an effect on your sleep? It turns out they’re some of the biggest culprits.

The biggest sleep mistake you can make is not having a regimented sleeping pattern. I know, it’s hard to get into a rhythm when you’re starting off with a sleep debt, but creating a proper sleep routine is the best thing you can do to ensure you get more consistently great sleep at night. This means going to bed at the same time each night and getting up at the same time every morning. It doesn’t have to be exact, but going to bed at roughly the same time will help your body to naturally ease itself into rest.

It’s also important to avoid the snooze in the morning. We’re all guilty of hitting the snooze button from time to time, occasionally setting our alarm 10 minutes early just so we can enjoy those 10 minutes of “extra” sleep. Please don’t do this. Rather than giving you extra sleep, it’s actually giving you interrupted sleep, which is what leaves you feeling tired later in the day.

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Another big sleep mistake is not taking care of your sleep environment. This means trying to sleep with lights or a TV on in your bedroom, sleeping in uncomfortable clothing or attempting to get to sleep when you can feel that you’re too hot or too cold. To help you get a better night’s sleep it’s important that you set yourself up for success and take care to make your sleep environment as dark, calm and comfortable as possible.

Finally, a big sleep mistake that I've been seeing more often of late is napping. Now I know that there are some of you out there who rely on a daytime nap because you haven’t been able to get any sleep at night, but it’s time to put that theory to bed. Long naps will make you less tired in the long run, which can force your bedtime back later and later. If you’re dead on your feet and desperately need a nap, try to limit it to 20 minutes (any longer and you’ll probably feel groggy, not alert) and try not to nap in the late afternoon.

SUPPLEMENTS FOR SLEEP

When you’re eating right, exercising and taking care of your sleep routine only to be foiled by your brain’s inability to switch off, don’t despair! There are still ways to help lead you into the land of nod. Here are five of my favorite supplements to help you get a better night’s sleep:

 

This is my favorite supplement, not only for my pain but for sleep, depression and anxiety! It has totally changed my life and have written a longer post here about it.  Give it a try and you will thank me later, promise.  Oh, but you don't want to take right before bed, probably about an hour before... and during the day as well.    

  • Ashwagandha

    One of the most popular herbs in ayurvedic healing, ashwagandha can help protect the immune system, combat stress, and reduce anxiety and depression. If your difficulty with sleep stems from one of these problems, a regular dose of ashwagandha can help ease those symptoms and allow you to have an undisturbed sleep.

  • Lavender

    We’ve known about the calming properties of lavender for a while now, with most magazines recommending that you use lavender beauty products in your nightly routine to utilize the scent to help give you a better night’s sleep. Lavender can also be taken in capsule form to help treat anxiety and alleviate insomnia caused by your moods.
     

  • Magnesium

    Along with B Vitamins, magnesium is essential for your body to properly synthesize and digest melatonin, so if you’re deficient in magnesium that might account for your inability to sleep properly. You can take magnesium supplements orally, or you can dissolve it in water that you either drink or soak in. During particularly stressful times or when you’re struggling to get to sleep a nice warm bath with magnesium can help calm your nerves and might just be your ticket to the land of nod.
     

  • Passionflower

    This plant-based supplement is generally used as an over-the-counter sedative and is said to improve your overall quality of sleep, rather than your ability to fall asleep faster. You can take passion flower in capsule form or you can drink a passionflower tea before bed.
     

  • Rhodiola

    It might be a tad confusing for some, but Rhodiola is generally used to reduce the effects of exhaustion and fatigue. No, it won’t act as a stimulant and keep you up all night, but it can improve cognitive function and help alleviate feelings of stress, which can be a factor that restricts your ability to sleep.

THESE ARE MY TOP PICKS

 
 

Sleep and hormones?  (Sleep Series: Part Two)

Sleep and hormones? (Sleep Series: Part Two)

Struggling with your zzzzzs at night?  This is Part Two of Sleep Series.  Need to read Part One?  Want to grab the Sleep Reset Guide?

One of the quickest ways to sleep better is to start paying attention to balancing out your hormones. Hormonal imbalances can mess up (your) sleep like nothing else!

In fact, around the time you’re 40 and menopausal or perimenopausal you start to lose estrogen. (Our feel good, womanly hormone.) When this happens, it’s like the beginning of the end (just joking, but not really) brain fog becomes a regular part of living, that extra weight won’t budge, your supercalifragilistic happy mood no longer shows up when you need it, and your luscious, most cherished time of sleeping eight hours goes awry!  Yes, sleeping becomes a long ago friend.

One of the first things I recommend when you notice your sleep getting disrupted or when you find that you’re not waking up feeling 100% recharged and refreshed is… drumroll please...  meditate.  You might not want to hear that solution but science backed data proves that this sleep hack works!

The main and primary reason meditation can work wonders for sleep is because it helps to increase the production of melatonin in the body.

What is melatonin?

It is a hormone made by the pineal gland and helps you sleep soundly.  {Yeah!} 

When your hormones are out of balance, melatonin production is impacted dramatically. Meditation can help assist in restoring that balance.

Research has indicated that meditation can boost levels of melatonin in the body naturally and help you sleep better.

I personally meditate before bedtime for optimum results during those times when I know my cycle is at its worst.  Good news for you, you don’t need any special equipment or training and you can do it anytime, anywhere.

The site has an easy-to-understand set of instructions for both mindfulness meditation and relaxation meditation to help you get started, tonight!

My other go-to resource for hormone health is Dr. Sara Gottfried’s book, The Hormone Cure. I was one of Dr. Sara’s first students a few years back, becoming trained in what she is known for, The Gottfried Protocol which helps restore balance to our hormones.  You can read and use the resources in this book to repair your body’s imbalance, increase melatonin levels, and improve your sleep quality as well.

In the book Dr. Gottfried talks about a 3-pronged, powerfully effective and natural approach to treat hormonal imbalance with herbal therapies, bioidentical hormones, supplements and lifestyle changes, exactly like the one you're reading about now.  (I personally have done all the above and have been using bioidenticals for over 15 years now, total lifesavers!)

Practical Clean Living 

I want you to get a copy of Dr. Gottfried’s book either from Amazon, or you can even walk on over to your local library and check it out for couple weeks!  

Also, set aside 10 to 15 minutes every evening to meditate. Start small, even 5 minutes of meditation will help you settle into your evening and bring you a more peaceful night’s sleep.  

Here is one of my meditations- it's super easy.

  1. Light candle.
  2. Sit in front of a candle.
  3. Focus on the flame of the candle.
  4. When tiny thoughts or big thoughts enter your brain, say, “Thank you, I’m meditating now and being quiet.”
  5. Focus on the flame again.
  6. Inhale and exhale deeply on a count of 5 or 7 -- inhaling for five -- hold for five -- exhale for five.
  7. You can increase the count of the breath to 11 as you increase your meditation.
  8. Stay focused on the flame.
  9. At the end of your time, simply say, “Thank you”
  10. Blow out the candle and get into bed.

 

Remember, you can do this. You can create powerful changes for a positive lifestyle, I’m here to help you every step of the way.

Want to really catch more ZZZZ’s and feel alive when you wake up?  Grab the sleep reset Guide or a session with me!  


Controlling Your Emotions?  Is It Possible?

Controlling Your Emotions? Is It Possible?

Will I ever be able to control my feelings?  My emotions make me crazy.  I don't want to lose it again at the office... Or have my daughter see me break down like that again.  All real statements from fellow clients, on their emotions. 

Why Bulletproof?  I drank the Kool-aid!

Why Bulletproof? I drank the Kool-aid!

THANK YOU DAVE ASPREY

I just got the f*ck out of the entrepreneurial space after 20 years of success and failure and can't thank Dave Asprey enough.

Being an entrepreneur for more than two decades, meant networking my ass off and working my hours {usually 8 to 12 hours a day}, making a lot of money, not making any money, hustling 24/7, and dreaming up great ideas. I also lived with this mentality, “I’m doing exactly what I want, I love it, this is my company.” It also meant networking with amazing people {also some jackasses}, hiring great people, answering tough questions, closing down businesses, and shutting out the lights for the last time on a final day. It has been me sending emails to long-standing clients, saying, farewell. It was also about living a lifestyle of my own making.  My entrepreneurial life has been about networking from co-working spaces, {anywhere in the world}, working from a cool office that I happened to design and say that I was proud to work there every day. Oh and it also meant being able to vacation anywhere in the world.

Throughout these twenty-plus years, I've met incredible people who have inspired me to live differently, treated me with great respect and supplied loads of generosity. But wait, hang on there's also the other side of the business with a different set of business contacts. Those who are are selfish, egomaniacs, they use curse words as adjectives and nouns at any given time. Yes, we can also be abrasive, candid and aloof at times.  Being an entrepreneur means meeting and working with many different types of people, and I’ve had the great honor to meet and run into many.  

The entrepreneurial landscape as I walked it has been for the most part exciting, rewarding, stimulating, and inspiring.

I hope I've painted a decent picture of my entrepreneurial landscape. What I've neglected to share with you, up to this point is that this lifestyle can be be rough and beat you up, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. {It’s hard on the central nervous system!} When I carefully review my career from the beginning, I recall the push to stay out late, gather with like-minded people, drink far too many cocktails, and second glasses of wine, which turned into all night escapades that would land me in someone else's bed only to escape at the break of dawn. Entrepreneurship drove me to want more, do more, and push myself to limits I didn't know I had. Now wait, I'm not saying in any way that this lifestyle is wrong or good for that matter, it's simply my experience these are the fast facts of my life as I lived it.

The entrepreneurial life provided me opportunity. Opportunity to explore differences, test ideas, learn new methods, share more ideas, find greater meaning. It allowed me to sleep in, and eat what I wanted to at outrageously expensive establishments. It also honed my skills of truth-telling, and my bull-shittery meter was turned on and fine tuned. Being an entrepreneur gave me more than I ever imagined.

What I never expected from being an entrepreneur was isolation and loneliness. {This eventually caught up to me.} Not everyone has understood my sincere desire to work all night, hustle sales, line up investors, and work on wireframes that were unrealistic. They never quite understood email funnels or what I got out of working on perfecting an email sequence until my eyes were crossed and it was past 2am. {I love this stuff!} Not everyone wanted to support another great idea; not everyone had the patience or time I had to see a project to completion.

Yes being an entrepreneur takes commitment, it's a full-time job. It's dedication to an eternity of "I don't know" and all the uncertainties of life.

Nothing is for sure when you're an entrepreneur, nothing.

  • Sales today? I don't know, maybe.
  • Client today? I don't know, maybe.
  • Customer acquisition? I don't know, maybe.
  • Can I pay myself today? I don't know, maybe.
  • Can I pay my staff today? I don't know.
  • Can I book a vacation? I don't know.
  • Can I pay my mortgage? I don’t know.
  • The iconic land of elusive consistency

For years I thrived with the unknown, until that day when it stopped working. It was no longer satisfying to live on the razor's edge of hustling, Gary V you can have it all. Not residing in the hustle every minute stop feeding me as it had in the past. Suddenly I felt like I was suffocating. I was dying, and there wasn't enough oxygen in my room, house or the world to sustain me.

I had no desire to coach another budding entrepreneur; I didn't want to consult with another startup business or be a COO of another company or firm. {No more reorganizing broken companies.} I wanted nothing of this entrepreneur world and didn't know how to get out of it. Out of complete desperation, I found myself listening to podcasts. {Enter Dave Asprey.}

I was tired. No, wait, not tired, plain ol' freaking exhausted. Add in my two-year-old, working 60 hours at my start up, jeesh, I felt like I had aged twenty years in a matter of seconds. Within two months of that moment {of not having enough oxygen}, my faculties seemed to be backfiring, once again. So what does any smart, ambitious sleep deprived woman do? She turns to her good old friend, Google.

I Googled:

  • How to feel good again.
  • How to get more sleep.
  • How to lose weight.
  • How to deal with brain fog.
  • How to have to fun with my kid.
  • How to had to have sex again.

Google revealed something or someone. Bulletproof Radio with Dave Asprey and Tim Noakes hacking fatigue number 3 there was also Dr. Terry Wahls Minding my mitochondria number 27. I tuned in and listened. I had nothing to lose and time to use. I wanted to rid myself of the anxiety of not being satisfied with the direction of my life. My identity of being an entrepreneur was slipping away, and I didn't know how to deal with it let alone my aching body.

I took off for my daily walk in the Presidio, there were days of Silence, but as soon as I discovered Dave, the silence was interrupted. He and his guests shared about health concerns and wellness that not only had I struggled with for the past 20 years, but he and his guest talked openly about struggles, the same debilitating struggles I had been dealing with as an entrepreneur.

Up to that point I had been quietly hacking my health and living differently since 1996, but it was never a winning opening dinner conversation. People looked at me differently, I might as well have had three eyes if I mention bioidentical hormones or that I was hacking against the modern doctors prescription.

Dave and his guest gave me a conversation to relate too; it was real. His passion to expose his tribulations and journey was an opening to the next phase of my development; I realized I had a new obsession. I was staying at the Heathman Hotel in Portland for another year of WDS. In the middle of the night, I sat straight up and became aware of my curiosity my intrigue, my desire to understand this Wellness path more deeply. I was alive again! There was a lingering or somewhat similar feeling of what I had experienced at certain times with entrepreneurship, but it wasn't quite the same. I felt a pull, a deep commitment to sharing more openly like Dave had been doing. I broke my long-term anonymity. I came out of the health hacking closet and started telling people about my story. As I was doing this the picture of my life changed. I began to feel happy again, I was sleeping, and I was hacking my happiness while I shared my wellness path, wholeheartedly. My life was transforming again.

Becoming a Certified Bulletproof Coach was truly the only next step. Some will say I've drunk the Bulletproof Kool-Aid, while others have no idea what I'm talking about all. It doesn't matter.

 

What matters is that I genuinely believe we each have a unique set of genes and each of us treats our bodies differently, {and this is where it gets interesting} our DNA reacts, epigenetic comes into play, and symptoms begin to presents. This is why I'm a Bulletproof Coach, understanding this is key. EVERY PERSON IS UNIQUE! EVERY Symptom is unique to that person. Yes YOU. You are unique.

There are so many symptoms that most doctors will treat you with a "Your fine," or take this drug, write the script, say goodbye, then charge your insurance an outrageous amount of money, then guess what? You still feel like crap! The symptoms are not fine; brain fog is not okay. Tiredness, anxiety, weight gain, insomnia, depression, it's all unacceptable. It is unacceptable to be walking around with gas and undigested food floating about into your bloodstream, adding a few extra pounds to your body which weaken your knees and heart. It's unacceptable to have insomnia and get only 3 or 4 hours of sleep at night, which then increases your cortisol levels that lead you to be a jackass to your partner for not getting you milk for your coffee. It's unacceptable to be on the brink of diabetes and not know how to handle it without drugs. It's unacceptable to be a Mom walking around with raging, unbalanced, crazy hormones, wanting to lock yourself in your bathroom, forever. It's unacceptable to be stressed out in an office drinking copious amounts of coffee to keep up with your workload. It's unacceptable not to know how to treat the symptoms of our bodies. All of these and more are signs of living in a culture where the medical care, the assistance we're receiving is not working anymore.

I've personally been broken, and have hacked myself back to health and happiness, thank God. My clients come to me with these exact situation, and together we create a unique individual life plan for a radical wellness path. {Radical only in the sense that you take control of your life and body!} Results are simple, "I feel fantastic," " I've lost 5 pounds, no actually it's 10 pounds my knees don't hurt anymore", "I'm not angry anymore I can handle my commute." There are hundreds and thousands of ambitious people out there looking to make changes from the inside out; I want to help you with that change. I want you to thrive and feel good in your body in an entirely different way. I want to help you find the answer that you're seeking from your board certified doctor. You are unique, and you deserve a plan, that works for you.

Ok, so this is why I thank Dave Asprey; this is why if I drank the Bulletproof Kool-aid it's okay. We deserve to feel better and have people care about each other. We matter. You matter. Your body is unique. Your mind is strong. This is why I got the fuck out of the entrepreneurial space, to help you be the best, most important part of your life, you matter. I'm here to help you find your presence, once you do that you'll start feeling better, and that's worth everything!

Want to live differently? Schedule a call, let's get you to better than before and thank Dave together.