Viewing entries tagged
conversation skills

How to Have Conversations That Matter

How to Have Conversations That Matter

How I Broke a CYCLE

Are you one of those people who dominates a conversation? Or are you the one who listens for that fleeting moment when your friend has to take a gasp of air or sip her coffee so you can get a word in edge wise?

The other day I was on the phone with a great guy, a friend of mine, Steven, I think the world of him, seriously. But every time we're on the phone the conversation becomes about him, his business, his kids, his life, his car...

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Now, don't get me wrong, I love to listen and be helpful, but every single time we're on the phone, he rambles, forever. I try to get that one quick word in; I try to share some insight, I've even tried sneezing and making jokes, God forbid -- I need to talk about something or make a point.


No, every time it's about him. Do you have a friend or friends like this, who drive you crazy? You look for that opening, you wait for the pause and oops there it was, there it goes, you missed it...

Over the past couple of months, I've spent a considerable amount of time pondering over the words in my up and coming book. Today's editing brought me this:

"Staying in a failed marriage, or in a job that is slowly breaking you into a thousand tiny pieces, while you slowly morph into what everyone else wants you to be, is a long-drawn-out and painful way to age. Breaking contact with your true calling and Grace brings pounds of misery (both literally and figuratively).

Continuing to agree with how everyone around you sees you, instead of speaking up about how you feel is completely life threatening!You may think you’re safe while hiding out in the agreement.

You may think you're not rocking the boat, or having to face conflict. But all that energy that is being tucked away—ever so neatly in a pantry just so you can play it safe—is eating away at you, and keeping you unhealthy, numb, overweight, miserable, and in pain.

It's time to break from it."

What do you think?

I want to share my plan with how I'm going to handle Steven the next time we speak, perhaps you have someone like Steven in your life?! We will be on the phone, chatting and I'm going to stop him mid sentence, and then hang up the phone.


I know he'll call me back and when he does I'll take that hot second moment to share with him how I feel about not being able to converse, or get a word in edge-wise when we speak.

I'm no longer willing to be the passive listener in a one way monologue. In this relationship I am no longer willing to be a passive participant.


Do you have meaningful conversations that matter?

Are you being heard for what you have to say?

What's important to you matters and people need to hear you!

Are you struggling with a conversation? Let me know how I can help, and I'm here for you.


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