Looking at your life can be a challenge, scary, and daunting process that we push to the side of the closet. The last choice we make...
When people ask me what I do I usually say something like, “ I help women get unstuck.” Or, I say something like, “I help women own who they are, and never be forgotten.” A lot of women will look at me and say, “Well that’s great. How interesting. What exactly does that mean?"
How much time do you have to look up and notice cobwebs on your ceiling, or clean between the cracks of your floorboards? I’m gonna guess, not a lot. Actually I will say you have zero time, especially if you are working full time, have kids, a partner in life, a dog, friends… what else do you have that eats away at your time?
Awhile back I ran into a friend on mine, she was rushing through the grocery store. It was so nice to bump into her as I haven’t seen her in months! All she could say was, “Lane, it’s been months, the boys are getting older and I still don’t have time, it actually seems like I have less time now, maybe we can get coffee next week, ok? I’ll call you.” She kissed my cheek and was out the door to her next engagement. I was left standing there nodding my head, okay. She was like a small storm twirling through the store and her life. I felt bad for her, her kids, her husband and their dog. I miss my friend. She is this incredible woman who has it all, the great job, the big paycheck, the J Crew husband, the well appointed house, the wardrobe, and probably the botox too. She is that woman, and I absolutely adore her. Perhaps some would say she has that perfect life.
A week ago I headed out to the Presidio for my regular walking session, (I need to break a sweat at least four times a week) and lo and behold who do I bump into, yes Ms. Perfect. Although, on this day, she is not so perfect. She is actually a walking wreck. Immediately she started unloading her life and all the issues she was going through, and how the pressure of keeping it all together is too much, and how she has to maintain, and how her life is suppose to be amazing, and how all the arrows point to, well “perfection”. She wants to quit her job... This is not the first time I've heard this monologue. I listened (I do that well). She wasn’t asking for help, she didn’t want advice. I offered my friendly ear and warm heart, I didn’t say one word. After we walked for awhile she said, “Oh my, I have to run, I have a report due in the morning, and I have to get the boys.” I told her to take care, and she was off and running again.
As she ran off I watched the dust settle after her, and I continued to “walk it out”. I contemplated my position in the world for the next 20 minutes until I got back to my house. I was totally calm. I thought about my friend and how she strives to hold up a perfect reputation, and how every time I see her, she is telling me she is “fine”. The day at the Presidio revealed more, she’s not FINE… she is in total denial.
If I really went in and pulled up the sheets on this woman's life and revealed more, we find misery. I think to myself, who wants to admit that their life is screwed up and they are stressed out to the max? Who wants to admit that they are not fulfilled in their job? Who wants to tell their partner the truth, that having sex with him is plain ol' boring? That they secretly want to be an author, a painter, a donut maker, an accountant, you can fill in the blank… and that they want to quit their high paying job to find it! Who wants to admit that they don’t know everything? I haven’t met a woman yet who willingly throws up her hands in defeat and says I need help, unless of course she is beyond the breaking point or truly wants more from her life.
In today’s world we don’t have time to look at what thrills us, or what fills our souls. I hear so many women say “I’ve got this, sure I’m happy, I have everything I ever needed…” Meanwhile she is dying inside because she is not fulfilled. It takes time and courage to look at the truth, it takes a bold move to shake up the bed, and pull the covers on yourself. No, not everyone is going to do this, no not everyone has the willingness to go after what really makes their heart sing. How would one even know what makes their heart sing… if they don’t stop and make the time to see it? Fear is a strange tool in life, it can protect us from jumping off the window ledge, yet it can also rob of us from ever finding out what is beyond the edge. Living a Practical Clean Lifestyle brings a woman to the edge, and makes it possible to jump off without falling.
I dare you to pull the covers on your life, just a little. Ask yourself these three questions for a bit more clarity when your back is up against the wall and change is the only way out...
1 -- If I had nothing to lose what would I change in my life today?
2-- With all the patience in the world, what is one thing I would learn today to improve the quality of my life?
3 -- There are no do-overs in life but there are do-agains - what would you like to do again in your life?
Answer these questions and get one step closer to who you are...